Parenting and The Enki Approach

Four-year-old Kaeli was sitting at the breakfast table, fully dressed in her endless pink, ready for preschool. She was an extremely careful and aware little girl, always neat and precise in her action. This particular morning, as she took her orange juice cup in her hand and raised it, her finger brushed by the butter plate and a little butter got onto her bent index finger. With her usual precision, she moved the glass towards her mouth, saw the butter on her finger, and continued turning her hand to lick the butter off. The juice, obeying the laws of physics, tumbled down her pink dress. Tears followed the river of juice. 

Riley had always been an exceptionally cheerful, jolly, round little boy - "Smiley Riley" to those who knew him. One day when he was eight years old I noticed that he was concentrating very hard on what he was drawing. He seemed to be putting an unusual amount of time and focus into a very detailed picture. When he was done he brought it over to show me (see below). The top fifth of the page was a paradisiacal scene, complete with palm trees. There was a clear line dividing this from the lower part of the drawing. A waterfall from the heaven above tumbled down to the bottom. In it were a few people falling. Below the few palm trees and all the people were knocked over, bleeding and dead. All had battle gear or had been hit by coconuts falling from the "palms of paradise". As he showed it to me Riley said, "They all fell into battle. Everyone is dying."

For me as a mother what made both of these stir a sense of awe and appreciation, rather than one of frustration over the dirty dress or fear of the violence or depression depicted in the picture? The answer is simple: I had an understanding of human development that allowed me to see the phenomenal workings of the human mind and heart in each of my children - I had the incomparably awe filled opportunity to actually witness another's growth. Watching my children I found myself completely full and intrigued, enraptured. I thought about my luck in having a profession, both as parent and teacher, which allows me glimpses into the incredible process of human growth. 

Over the years I have found that the knowledge and understanding of human development, including my own as both child and adult, has made it possible to not only to enjoy my children more deeply, to ride the times of worry and fretting more easily, but it has also helped me guide them more constructively. My knowledge of human growth has made the hard and lonely decisions all parents face again and again, a little easier to bear, as I understood them in light of a lifetime of development. 

Over the years many parents have taken the Foundation Course of the Enki Teacher Training Program and studied our materials for just this reason. Time and again we hear from participants that this study has helped them to understand their children and themselves far more deeply and with more appreciation. Our approach to understanding children begins with an experiential understanding of ourselves. Through new exercises and the arts, in the summer intensive we all get to re-experience the actual processes of growing and learning. The study, which follows these experiences, brings understanding both of our children's process and of the aspects of earlier development we have not fully completed ourselves. In the process we not only become more knowledgeable parents, but more compassionate and full of humor (the one absolute requirement in the parental arsenal!).

We hope you will be able to join us in the Foundation Course, study our materials, and participate in our Monthly Question and Answer discussion.